Beach Party

How will they enforce it? Are they going to have male officers walking up to female topless beach-goers handing out citations? You can imagine the things these men will be called and the lawsuits that will be filed because a male officer ticketed a topless woman.

Holland now has a "civic integration examination" for some would-be immigrants. One of the requirements: View a video with scenes of a topless beach and gay men kissing. There will be a test on the material. Seriously.

If you are planning a vacation trip to Cancun, hop the ferry across the bay to the small finger-shaped Isla Mujeres. The name means “Island of Women” and there are a number of theories as to how the name came to be but it’s not because of the topless beach. The important thing is that it’s a great place to vacation in the sun.

Tuesday(9th) - Went to Miami for the beach. Jay took us to a topless beach and didn’t tell us. So, we of course picked the one spot that had topless chicks that shouldn’t have been topless. Anyways, the Miami beach was pretty sweet… nice waves and cool water.

All, cool, indeed, but easily eclipsed by

the professional group swimsuit model photo shoot on the topless beach, right in front of my beach chair

Aruba? More like Awesomeruba

The new Wynn Las Vegas casino and Casears have joined trendsetter Mandalay Beach in offering topless pools. Besides reaching back to Vegas' more carefree days, the option is turning into a pricless marketing and money making niche. Mandalay Bay rents out the cabanas above the pool to high rollers for $500 on the weekends.

Situated at the southern end of Topsail Island, off the coast of southeastern North Carolina, the Town of Topsail Beach is the smallest of the three communities located on the 26-mile long island. North Topsail Beach occupies the northernmost section, and Surf City, the largest town on the island, is in the center.

I'm trying to imagine my father on a topless beach, and I'm having a hard time picturing it. Not because dad's a prude (quite the opposite, actually).

It's because I can't imagine him being able to control himself. I'm picturing something akin to the behavior of the Anaheim Angels Rally Monkey. If the Rally Monkey was randy. And touching himself. In places we won't talk about.

Follow these steps:

1. When at the beach, go only to beaches where topless bathing is permitted.

2. At such a topless beach, find a place to station yourself near several topless women who can all be seen with one glance.

3. Maintain observation of your "indicators" as long as you are on the beach.

If you detect an earthquake via the indicators, run for higher ground.

Of course it's also a very popular topless beach. So off we went, meter in hand, to prove that gravity did indeed still work. Ya know, for science.

Read on for more pictures and a story of the trip to Point Venus and beyond.